So Mr He-who-must-not-be-named called. Not one of those social calls enquiring if all is well and checking if I still fit the bill to number among his friends, but rather a post-haste call from a soul whose sensibilities appeared to have been severely wounded. Reason, his being referred to as 'He-who-must-not-be-named' in my first post. "What difference does it make?" I asked him. Ten to one, the only people to ever read this blog would be him and me. Maybe my sister, who is quite fond of reading, might show an interest in a post or two, if she ever manages to drag herself away from that office of hers. And the husband, if I ever write one which features Man Utd., football, sports or gizmos as the keyword(s). But my reach for an audience just about ends there.
"You could have left it at 'A friend'" he argued. "And I would have if you hadn't echoed on about remaining incognito. What's with the secrecy anyway?", I asked. But he went on the defensive and mumbled something non-committal about being shy and wanting to make sure and some such blah blah! To which the devil in me prompted me to say, "Oh!, you are afraid of your wife." (I was just messing with him; his wife is one of the sweetest persons to walk this earth and is sure to have a hearty laugh at her husband's expense if I am ever able to extend my audience to include her). And so we were back to dagger-drawing!
But this banter got me thinking about such a fate that, though escaped this friend of mine, has turned sour quite a few friendships. Take for example, a friend's wife has barred him from staying in touch with any of his fifteen friends because she had ego issues with one within the group!! So much so that he does not attend their weddings or even extend his best wishes in any form or even respond to any invitation or message. Another friend's wife, on her very introduction with the gang, misconstrued the light hearted teasing between childhood friends to be of a demeaning nature. It's been a couple of years now and the group has moved on from waiting for them to join, to hearing their next-in-line excuse to wriggle out of a get-together! Another friend narrowly escaped a lifetime of having his friends picked and shopped for him after a 'It's either them or me' episode (He dumped 'them' but broke off with her after more than a year of servitude). I don't think he shall ever hear the end of it from 'them'. But the one case that takes the shine out of all is a friend's husband refusing to ever meet her office colleagues and ordering her to keep a distance because they 'weren't nice' and he didn't like the 'whole lot'. (Dude, you really need to at least talk to, if not meet folks, before you announce your grim prognosis)
I don't understand the thought that prevents one from adopting one's spouse's buddies. Does it crop from wanting to show an upper hand or is it plain insecurity stemming from the fact that the buddies have had a head start to being a part of his or her life? Whatever the reason be, I for one, am extremely fortunate to have my 'Yours, Mine & Ours' view, a spousal blessing. And we are both thankful for two sets of wonderful friends, their spouses and their little ones! Love you all!
P.S.: And if I know anything of my friend He-who-must-not-be-named, I am sure to receive a 'Howler' by the morning post! ;)
"You could have left it at 'A friend'" he argued. "And I would have if you hadn't echoed on about remaining incognito. What's with the secrecy anyway?", I asked. But he went on the defensive and mumbled something non-committal about being shy and wanting to make sure and some such blah blah! To which the devil in me prompted me to say, "Oh!, you are afraid of your wife." (I was just messing with him; his wife is one of the sweetest persons to walk this earth and is sure to have a hearty laugh at her husband's expense if I am ever able to extend my audience to include her). And so we were back to dagger-drawing!
But this banter got me thinking about such a fate that, though escaped this friend of mine, has turned sour quite a few friendships. Take for example, a friend's wife has barred him from staying in touch with any of his fifteen friends because she had ego issues with one within the group!! So much so that he does not attend their weddings or even extend his best wishes in any form or even respond to any invitation or message. Another friend's wife, on her very introduction with the gang, misconstrued the light hearted teasing between childhood friends to be of a demeaning nature. It's been a couple of years now and the group has moved on from waiting for them to join, to hearing their next-in-line excuse to wriggle out of a get-together! Another friend narrowly escaped a lifetime of having his friends picked and shopped for him after a 'It's either them or me' episode (He dumped 'them' but broke off with her after more than a year of servitude). I don't think he shall ever hear the end of it from 'them'. But the one case that takes the shine out of all is a friend's husband refusing to ever meet her office colleagues and ordering her to keep a distance because they 'weren't nice' and he didn't like the 'whole lot'. (Dude, you really need to at least talk to, if not meet folks, before you announce your grim prognosis)
I don't understand the thought that prevents one from adopting one's spouse's buddies. Does it crop from wanting to show an upper hand or is it plain insecurity stemming from the fact that the buddies have had a head start to being a part of his or her life? Whatever the reason be, I for one, am extremely fortunate to have my 'Yours, Mine & Ours' view, a spousal blessing. And we are both thankful for two sets of wonderful friends, their spouses and their little ones! Love you all!
P.S.: And if I know anything of my friend He-who-must-not-be-named, I am sure to receive a 'Howler' by the morning post! ;)
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